You Can Rest When You're Dead

We just finished a wonderful nine days with my mom and Aloni visiting with us in Bali. “Relaxing vacation” is not a term with which my mother is familiar. Hence, her motto “you can rest when you’re dead.” So it was nine action-packed days--filled with from morning until night with activity.

When not involved in structured activities we spent our “free time” swimming, eating and shopping. For most people, shopping is a relaxing leisure activity, particularly on vacation, where you slowly stroll from shop to shop, observing the charming ethnic art and picking up a few souvenirs and gifts for family. For my mom, it is practically an aerobic sport. I must admit that I relished having the benefit of my mother’s seemingly preternatural ability to sift through the multitudes of junk and find the treasures. This is not really my skill set, and I had really been floundering in markets throughout Southeast Asia and Africa. With my mother’s “gift” and my penchant for efficiency, we managed to cover the town of Ubud in short order. My mom left me with a large duffel bag full of our spoils and marching orders, heavy on the specifics, to purchase the few things we had not managed to get during her time here—all to be shipped back to L.A. before we head off for a short stop in Bangkok and then Israel.

Among our many adventures was a glorious bike trip down Mount Batur. This was the most genteel of bike trips—starting with breakfast of banana pancakes and ginger tea on a terrace restaurant overlooking the extraordinarily beautiful Lake Batur. There was top notch equipment (including helmets and gloves), a van following close behind us, snacks and water always at the ready, and since the entire trip was down hill, we never actually had to peddle. The only exercise we got was for our wrists--from squeezing the break to avoid crashing into each other (mostly me avoiding crashing into my mother). Despite the lack of physical exertion for which I was hoping, it was a thoroughly enjoyable ride through Balinese rice fields, villages, temples and other exquisite scenery. Our guide was incredibly sweet—always making sure the kids (and my mom) were safe and happy. He also took time to explain many interesting facts about Balinese life and culture along the way. One stop was at a typical Balinese home which really consists of a series of buildings situated around an outside court yard. He explained that the front of the house (or the head) is the family temple in which the ancestors are worshipped. The oldest members of the household have the next most honored space, then the young adults (usually married), the kids and then the kitchen. The back of the house (the tush, I guess) is reserved for the animals. Even though each member of the family has some indoor place to sleep, the bulk of activity occurs in the center of the courtyard, from preparing offerings, to knitting to fixing the family motorbike. It’s seems like a lovely intergenerational way to live—sort of a Balinese schtetl.

The agenda for the next day included river rafting down the stunningly beautiful Ayung River. Our guide was a terrific, energetic guy who took the kids and Aloni’s Hebrew lessons (“say ‘kadima’ not ‘forward’”) in great humor and stride. It was not the roughest of rivers, but there were some exciting rapids, many opportunities to get soaked and great fun all around. It was the kids’ first experience with river rafting and it undoubtedly wetted their appetite for more (pun somewhat intended).



During their visit, my mom and Aloni graciously allowed Adam and I to take off for a few days—our first time alone in 4.5 months. We completely splurged on a spectacularly beautiful resort called the Oberoi on Seminyak beach. We truly relished the time alone together and utterly enjoyed every moment. Although, we did devote a significant portion of it to talking about our kids and acknowledging how much deeper our family attachment has become since spending 24/7 together for 4 months—much of it in a small room with bunk beds—and generally congratulating ourselves for taking this journey.

All in all, it was a terrific visit with my mom and Aloni. The kids had another tearful goodbye as they left for the airport on Monday evening, and we were back to our foursome. We look forward to seeing them in Israel in a month or so. Now, even though we are all still very much alive, it is time to relax…