Last Few Days in Rau

Leaving Rau was disquietingly reminiscent of leaving Los Angeles in January. There were lots of tears, in many ways more poignant tears because we may never see many of these people again. In a relatively short time, we created what appeared to be long lasting friendships—even if most will be long distance and facilitated only via email. As we were leaving, Adam and I realized that deciding to volunteer was the best decision that we made with respect to this trip, both because of the extraordinary experiences we have already had, but also because we have been able to forge lasting friendships that would have been impossible if we had traveled only as tourists for six months. Of the growing list of things I did not consider when we set off on this trip is how hard it would be to create connections with people in the places we visit and then have to say goodbye. Particularly for the girls.

Truth be told, Adam and I are also a bit puzzled over how much of an impression our family seemed to have made. I think having a family at the home base altered the dynamics in many ways for both the other volunteers as well as the staff. To our fellow volunteers, I think we became a combination of parents, friends, playmates and (bizarre as this sounds) maybe even role models for what they can do with their kids when they have them. More touching and wholly unexpected was the way that the staff saw us. In Tanzania, they seem to have such a strong sense of family and obligation. Indeed, Adam and I often felt that there was much we could learn from them, not vice versa. Therefore, it was with both surprise and chagrin that we learned that they saw us as this extraordinary family. I was particularly amused, and pleased, when Edward, Mama Grace’s son and a terrific young man, apparently remarked that our family would serve as a model for what his would be. If they only knew… Even so, we were surprised and extremely touched by the fuss that was made for us as we left. We received incredibly thoughtful gifts from the staff—works of art that were created for us about our family. Stephen and Farahani gave me a wonderful bowl that they had shopped for and chosen carefully (and filled with chocolate). I was particularly taken by a wonderful party given by Stephen, his mother (Mama Change) and Farahani. All parties in Rau, it seems, are not just about eating, drinking and small talk. As with the extraordinary birthday party we attended the week before, they use the occasion to speak from the heart about the honored guests. Shockingly, in this case, us. They took turns speaking about each of us and our family and what we had meant to them during our reasonably short stay in Rau. It was hard for me to grasp what was happening and I was focusing on taking in every moment, even as I sat on the sofa and cried. We then (including Maya and Emma) were each asked to say a few words. We stumbled through and thanked them for opening themselves up, resulting in a profound connection that will not soon be forgotten. We had made some cd’s for Stephen and Farahani –a bizarre combination of Beatles, Black Eyed Peas, Queen and Motown—and the party ended with all of us dancing—everyone including Maya, Emma, Mama Change, the 17 year old boys and even Adam! A fabulous party by any measure—one I will never forget.

Another challenge of leaving, albeit less profound, is the nuisance of packing and the constant nag of feeling like we have too much stuff—but can’t figure out what to get rid of. Finishing a book and even a tube of toothpaste is a triumph because it lightens our load by a few ounces. None of us have an extraordinary amount of stuff. In fact, when compared with most other volunteers, ours was an average, if not moderate, amount. But in the aggregate and when we pack it up and pile it in one place it seems overwhelming.