End of Tanzania Volunteering-Adam

This past Tuesday (Feb. 13) was my last day volunteering in Tanzania. It was a bittersweet day. Frankly, the volunteering was hard, both from a teaching standpoint and an ego standpoint. The fact is that teaching English to really poor kids who have very limited English is very challenging. I taught three groups of kids, Form 1 (11-13), Form 2 (14-17), Form 3 (18-19). I think that I did ok with the Form 1 and the Form 2 kids, but I don’t feel that I ever succeeded in reaching the Form 3 kids. In the Form 3 class, I always felt like the ignorable substitute teacher. In that regard, I hereby apologize to all of those substitute teachers who I played a part in harassing over the many years of my education. In the Form 3 classroom, I seemed to be largely talking to myself. Of course, I generally find myself scintillating, but not when I’m actually trying to talk to others. And the thing is that learning English is actually important. The economic opportunities for fluent English speakers in Tanzania are much greater than for those who do not speak English. There’s nothing more disheartening than feeling that you’re not reaching your students and that the subject matter is actually important to their lives. I think I’m being a bit hard on myself, but it was definitely tough.

In terms of the Form 1 and Form 2 kids, I felt somewhat differently. The kids seemed to really like me and I really liked them. Many of them were quite smart and seemed eager to learn. To my great surprise, they seemed sad when I told them that I would not be returning. I’m not sure how effective I was, but I think a bond was created. On the last day, I took pictures and videos of the students, which I showed them, they seemed to enjoy that.

All in all, I really enjoyed the volunteering. I relished being confronted with challenges so different than the challenges I face at home. While it was tough, I feel that my confidence has grown such that I feel more certain that I can conquer different and foreign challenges. I also felt that the relationships that I developed with both the students and the faculty were rewarding. Certainly, were we merely traveling from locale to locale, I would never have had the opportunity to make these types of connections.

In ending the volunteering, I have been giving considerable thought to what I can do on a going forward basis. It seems that all I can really do is give money and/or help raise money. But the question is for whom and how to do it effectively. Throwing money at problems is not always the solution. Indeed, it is a key part of the laudatory credo of Cross Cultural Solutions not to give in a way that engenders dependence. I have been considering a number of options. As indicated in a prior blog, I really admire the mission of Second Chance (the name of my school) to provide another avenue for Tanzanians, who have been left out of the system, to further their education. Clearly, they need money for everything from hiring teachers to buying books to improving their facilities. Another possible recipient is one of my students, Evance, who is in the Form 3 class. Evance is from the poor of the poor. Indeed, as a little kid, he would haul bricks for 1,000 schillings (less than $1.00) per day. He is very smart. On my last day, we talked at length about his desire to become a doctor so that he may work on the HIV/AIDS issues in the country. Fortunately, Second Chance has identified him as a top student, which should help, but that, by no means, guarantees him the ability to obtain the education he deserves and needs. I have been thinking that maybe I should give him a few bucks here and there to help him out. Similarly, as also reflected in my prior posts, I have become entranced with one of the neighborhood orphanages, which is so profoundly desperate for resources. Unfortunately, I cannot give to everything and so I’m torn about which if any of these are the right beneficiaries of my small donations or should I be doing something entirely different.

Also, Melissa used to joke, much to my irritation, that it was her objective to return home with an orphan. While I am quite satisfied with the size of my family, it’s hard not to think about how such an action could so transform the life of one of the orphans. Tanzania makes it nearly impossible for foreigners to adopt. I will guiltily confess that I am relieved by this administrative burden.

Nonetheless, it’s hard to not have your heart touched by this place and I feel a real need to maintain a connection that’s both useful and thoughtful.

It’s so hard to figure out, yet I am committed to figuring something out.